[	mood	|	moody	]
[	music	|	Damien Rice	]

Alright, I'm back for the time being.
I'm not sure who all still has me on their list,
or whatever, so I guess what I'll do is
erase everyone, and start clean.
But if you're still interested in what
goes on in my life, be my guest, and add me.

I could be one to "forget the past" and erase
all of my old entries. I must admit, most of them
were filled with pain and regret and tears. And
honestly, all of my future entries will probably
be the same way.

I have a lot of catching up to do, I guess,
but I'll save all of that for my next entry.

[	mood	|	crazy	]
[	music	|	Nothing Better	]

I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE.
ALL I WANT IS TO BE WITH HOUSTON!!!!

SOMEONE HELP ME BEFORE I GO INSANE.

"I love you" is all she heard
and I'll wait for you
but I can't wait forever.




And finally, for the time being,
I am healthy.
I'm sure it won't last long though.
Maybe its all this medicine thats in my system.
It's like my body is immune to all these drugs.
Once I feel the slightest headache or cramp,
I grab the Tylenol.
I remember I went through a whole bottle
in about one week.


anyways, I am completely and utterly alone.
Somehow, every guy I have ever cared about has left me
and I don't know why.
I'm not that horrible of a person.

Kevin had the nerve to try to "be with" me
and this other girl at the same time.
I'm not stupid, and I know when something
is going on behind my back.

It seems like Houston has moved on.
I guess it was coming.
I just didn't expect it to be so soon.
After him telling me that he wanted me
out of his life for good, I was certain it was over.
THEN, Valentines Day, he hands me a card,
and some of my favorite candy.
The card broke me down, literally,
right in the middle of homeroom.
He can't just come and go whenever he wants to.
He cannot play with my heart like that.
He waved and smiled at me that day,
then the next day, it was back to ignoring me.
I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up.


on a happier note

I know I must be the last person to get one,
but hey, it keeps me company wherever I go.
I think I'm in love.



Oh, and I've been contemplating
on whether or not I should leave livejournal.
I'm not sure.

[	mood	|	confused	]
[	music	|	Don't	]

Don't
Don't give up on trust
Don't give up on me, on us
If we could just hold on long enough




It's unbelievably crazy how much I miss him right now.
I miss how he would call me every morning just to tell me that he loved me.
I miss the way we hugged, the way there was nothing between us, not even air, just two thin layers of clothes.
I miss our stupid arguements, and the way we'd make up after.
I miss the way he made me feel like nothing else mattered except me and him.
I miss the way he'd hold my hand, like he never wanted to let it go.
I miss the compliments he gave me, even though they were corny.
I miss how I could act stupid with him, and he didn't care.
I miss the way he would stand up for me.
I miss the way he brushed my hair out of my face, so he could see my face.
I miss how he'd try to make me feel better, when I wasn't in a good mood.
I miss the way I got chills after reading something he wrote me.
I miss the way I felt weak in the knees after kissing him.
I miss the way he loved me with everything he had.


I miss him
but the thing is..
will I ever have that with him again?

I guess its the trendy thing to do ...

Friends Only, Slut.

If you don't particulary like reading
about a pessimistic, depressed,
constantly-feeling-sorry-for-herself-girl,
get the fuck out.

This is where I come to rant and bitch
about my problems and my life,
such as boys and how much they suck,
so called friends, family, school,
yada yada yada.

But add me.
I'm awesome.

I now know how it feels to give someone my heart
AND BE LIED TO THE WHOLE TIME
WE WERE TOGETHER.
HOW CAN SOMEONE WHO CLAIMED THEY LOVED YOU
LIE RIGHT TO YOUR FACE FOR 11 MONTHS?!?!?!?!?

ITS PEOPLE LIKE HOUSTON
WHO MESS IT UP FOR EVERY OTHER GUY OUT THERE.

I CAN NEVER TRUST ANYONE AGAIN.

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!




ps. sorry, i'll update about it later.